The Possible, and Perhaps Forgotten, Magic in our Mouths

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It’s important to get that in a very real and marked way, one conversation really can spark new worlds, open new possibilities, change a life – the nature of it, the context, the shape of its future and trajectory of its path. I recall a countless sum of these flavorful kinds of conversations, both one on one and in a community or group setting alike, that as I look back and scan the outflow that came of that dialogue, I’m connected to the shifts and course changes that would have never ensued otherwise. A whole other world sprouted out of a moment in time spent sharing words that mattered. A new future emerges. Just like that. It was this breed of conversation that catapulted me to California, 3000 miles from all that was familiar and safe, driving west to manifest destiny. Somewhere in a parallel reality, the shape of my life is entirely unrecognizable, were I able to peep a glimpse. And where it split off was in a conversation. Fierce words that pierced my fear and awoke a slumbering Self. Yet this was a cooperative and participatory act, for words that make a difference only do so in those willing for a difference to be made, those willing to put themselves at stake, and gamble familiarity (*beware this league of communication – there is often a shore to leave; but oh those glimmering horizons towards which they may cast you).

And so, my brilliant bevy of mattering word utterers…engage. Pivot the chronic pull to figure it all out in the confines and isolated crevices of your mind. Check in to life and with others, fully, out here, where life is happening, and have important conversations. Your engagement with the world, and the folks with whom you share it, brings honor to life and all it has to say; lends a wide open platform to unfurl its secrets. Hold them up to your heart and hear the soft taps of truth and tale. Offer others the gracious space of your sacred listening on which to unfold their own found magic. Invite dialogue that digs. Ask questions that raise eyebrows and tickle brains. Dare to be intimate. Be willing to get messy.

Request coaching and contribution and support from the lush and endless resources that abound in your life (Google’s got nuthin’ over personal exchange). Place your know-all up on a mantle, let it rest for just a while (don’t worry, you can have it back), and allow for naivete to be an asset now. Tap in to the lives of others and fold their findings into your cache (this could potentionally be one of your highest yielding life hacks). Nothing lights people up like contributing what they know and sharing life experience; let them be that gift. Voice your wants and challenges and make bold requests for what you need. Put the whispers of your heart on loud speaker. Then listen keenly. Plug in. Seek, explore, play, co-create through language. Generate possibilities into being starting with the word; this really can be linguistic alchemy. Try things on. Lean in to life, and try out someone else’s model of living and working, for a day, an hour. See what happens. Experiment with what is said, even when it’s totally new and uncomfortable (perhaps especially when).

In these exchanges, allow the seemingly fixed parts of you to re-order and contort for the sake of expansion. Put your identity at risk. The uncomfortability will soon be assuaged by a newfangled, thrilling existence, where you may just find the magic sauce, the sweet spot. We weren’t meant to level off or for rigor mortis living. I think we were always meant for the becoming; any moment of interaction is a next possible abracadabra.

Accept that even a mere sentence has the power to go THUD in a room and rearrange the formula of the future. Be open to discoveries in a single interaction that can alter everything on a dime, because anything can – if we’re open.

And above all, it begins with the willingness to have any of it profoundly make a difference.

Happy conversing. Everything you want really is here for you.

I Saved a Seat for You, Next To Me.

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Your pain doesn’t wait for an appropriate time to diffuse or digest itself. It can make a surprise showing with the simple cue of a simple word at any time it decides to swoop right in and scramble an otherwise chipper time; like a hypnotist says “chicken” and **booiiinng** you’re gone, tuned out. Or you start walking on all fours and barking at people’s ankles. It will make your unwitting body a marionette to its ventriloquist jaunts, and as far as I can tell, fighting back just makes it more awkward.

If you are no stranger to pain-trauma, my hurt welcomes your hurt to lay here flat with me and hold my hand as our unmetabolized, murky waves of grief and tragedy pass through our bodies and deliver us back to our distilled centers of the purest love and light.

I don’t think you weirdo or crazy or too much for the astounding shapes your hurt takes, for how it pours out of your body, even in its most maladjusted forms, during the times it’s a most unwelcomed guest, the most obnoxious in the room. I know what’s happening there and I know you’re as much a witness to it as anyone else standing aside.

What the fuck ever can we do to wield such an uproarious, hot force? I think maybe nothing – but bend into it. Surrender, and do it together; let’s tribe up through the erratic hurts of living and deep gashes of loss, and let’s kiss our cuts endearingly and piggyback each other onward and let’s feed one other thick soup and giddy movies, cozy nose nuzzles and spicy, hot tea with cinnamon sticks for that extra touch (sometimes we need so much of extra touch).

Let’s share our pain at a common table family style, when it all gets too wound-y to stomach alone in the vast wide gray. All of that downhome, good healing really does begin with “We”….I really don’t know how else to be.

If your self-love journey doesn’t include it all

“I must have a dark side also if I am to be whole.” ~CG Jung

And if your journey along the path of evolved conscious living doesn’t deliberately include & absorb all the parts of you that are not at all evolved – where you are the utter antithesis of enlightened living – then you are not saturated by your own consciousness, and you’ve missed the point of embodiment. If your path doesn’t also embrace where you are a total fucking asshole, a vain and vacuous thing, a batshit control freak, a fuddy-duddy, down-n-out, insane clown — then you will never know the true depths of self-love, but only the cherry-picking of self-judgments. If you can’t embrace full immersion into all that is dark, you can never learn the heroic measures of how to bring your own self back into the light.Shadow-self