8/8/18
8.8 My Mama’s Spirit Graduation Day. 3 years today. And I’m only now turning the corner of accepting the reality that she’s never coming back. Grief can be a slow brew like that.
All day today and the few days leading up, I’ve been exploring what this day means to me, trying to get present to all that it contains and what there is to honor of it. And while I do find myself somewhat tender and somber about it, something else keeps rising up, trumping the pain this day holds — by far. My mind keeps frogleaping the ache to go right to it.
And that is all the people who came rushing in to hold me tight through this time 3 years ago, and never let go since. Those who showed up and kept showing up, so that I could fall apart safely, knowing they were there to gather me. Who threw all their love and all their support and all their tools for healing into the void left by the catastrophic event. The humans without which I’d have been swallowed up by the dark, endlessly lost and floating alone in the abyss like a kite with no string.
I dedicate this day to you. To all you who tethered me to the earth, and made it safe to come back down to. I owe my life — and regrown heart — to you.
Prayer hands emoji times infinity 🙏🏽 I love you with all of my lost and found soul, sacred family.
[i apologize if you’re not tagged yet and you were someone who in some way held space for me and helped me heal; I’ll keep adding more as my mind gets represenced to all who came through in a direct & chronic way. I’m sorry for the delay. The years have held so many. A good problem to have.]
The Blyss Catalyst 