The current pain is not the real pain. It is an incarnation of a bigger source with a rope ladder hooked to it that travels back through time to its original place. Be willing to feel your way back and look at what you haven’t wanted to look at. It takes on the form of a sinister lie. “I’m not good enough”…”I’m unwanted”…”I don’t belong”…”I’m all alone”…”they wouldn’t love me if they only knew me”…like that…Disfiguring narratives that run a toxic current throughout your life, ever-prompting you to either sabotage things to affirm their accuracy or exhaust yourself overcompensating to prove they’re dead wrong. Either way, they’re running you (ragged at that). Dig them up from their bedrock and deconstruct their programming by holding them up to the light and seeing them for what they are. Lies. Then acknowledge that YOU are the one still carrying them around, permitting them to steal your vitality and joy, and strip your ability to be present to what’s actually happening (versus experiencing the present as a trigger from something in the past). Feel how their energy feels in your body then give them love and release that energy — by moving, meditating, jumping vigorously, dancing, journaling, creating, communicating, visualizing, whatever feels good and right to you. Howl if you have to – just move it as it comes. All energy wants to flow through and out of you. As you do this, your current pain will simmer and you’ll gain back the power to deal with the circumstances that incited it. Have at it, self-healers!
Month: December 2018
Well Isn’t That Refreshing
It’s refreshing to realize that I can be in pain and still love my life. I can still be really happy while carrying a stone of hurt.
It’s refreshing to know that I can feel pain and not make it mean one negative thing about me or my future, that I don’t have to go down that route of default thinking. I can shut down the thoughts that steal my power, moment by moment, and in doing so, build the muscle for creating only empowering stories about me and about my life.
And it’s refreshing to know that I can be in pain, and not be at the effect of it, not be its victim. That instead of the experience of just sitting there enduring it, idly waiting for it to pass, I can study it. I can bring wonder and inquiry to it, and utilize it. Let it be useful to me. Let it be a portal into healing rather than something that takes me out. I can become interested in what there is to discover in it, what gifts are embedded in its folds for me (and there are gifts — to the willing student). Point is, as a human being I can have my default ways or I can access a whole range of other approaches and responses that would open me and deepen me and cause me to become a bigger human being than I ever knew myself to be before the pain.
Just thought you’d like to know…
Refreshed,
Lyss
What I Do Know
I’ve gone a little quiet these days. Sometimes I process challenging times publicly and creatively; but some darkness renders me speechless for I don’t yet have the words or actions that even closely resemble feelings that have no shape or coherence yet. To say the least, it’s been a grating and grueling year, a disorienting and losing-myself one. And it has grown me and deepened me as all darkness does. It’s opened my eyes to more of what I do want in life by contrast of having experienced so much of what I do not.
And now, at the outset of an already grinding year (few years, to be honest), it seems that I have just a bit more uphill to go before the big upswing, which I know is certain to come, as life’s pendulums always ensure.
What’s up right now is that I’ve lost my job, my house, and my long-term relationship in the span of a month. I feel like I’m walking around in life with no epidermis, all raw and gooey and like I have no identity or container to hold my parts together, and I’m dripping all over the place, staining the sidewalks with my mess.
But what’s also up is that after a lifetime of tremendous losses, traumas, heartbreaks and formidable mountains of adversity, I now know a few things about myself and times like these. It is in this knowing where I’ll find my footing and my safety in an otherwise very unsafe-feeling time.
And what I do know is this:
I know I’ve made it through all of my bad days and not one has failed to spit me out to the other side transformed. Not one have I not come out singing. Not one hasn’t turned out to be the catalyst to my next plane of expansion and self-actualization (in other words, made me more ME).
What I do know is that times like these only prompt me to dial up the self-love and compassion, and out of that, I synthesize with my Higher Self in a deeper and more avowed way than ever before. A more in-my-own-corner way than ever before.
What I do know is that when I’m forced to confront fear and loss and confusion triggered by present events, I then have an opportunity to heal the parts of my past where all that is actually sourced from, and I always choose to dive deep into that opening, as much as it wrings the hell out of my heart to do so. I know that if I just stay in the fire, many old hurts that have long overstayed their welcome will be exhumed and purified from me and I’ll be that much freer, that much more rooted in my Light. And what I do know is that facing fear and pain only musters out of me the tools I have to battle those beasts, and I’m prompted to call upon the medicines I know — dance and movement, meditation, journaling, EFT, prayer, my personal growth resources, community, time in nature, and on — just throw everything I got at it. Here is where all of those seminars and workshops and all the conscious learning come out of the world of insight and actually play out and pay off.
What I do know is that because things always work out for me in the end (and they do for all of us), having traversed yet another once formidable mountain only serves to have me more connected to humanity and be a space for others going through the painful places where I have been. I get the honor of being allowed in there with them because they can trust that I can hold space for any kind of experience, that there isn’t anything they can give me that I can’t be with, and they would be right. And so my dark places only serve to make me more of a contribution in and to the world, and thus they are a gift to me, for that is perhaps the best me I could possibly be, and ultimately the reason I’m on this planet.
What I do know is that I always have a choice, no matter what life throws at me. And I choose to stay in the fire, and trust. I choose that when the bottom is dropped, the only way for me is up.
I hope you do too, because the world needs the gift of more humans like that.
To our collective transformative fire…i love you, brave ones.
The Blyss Catalyst 